Things I Learned on Vacation

A Comprehensive List

1) When travelling to a Caribbean island, it is imperative to pack items of clothing embroidered with the names of other islands you have visited in the past. I missed the memo.

2) When slowly burning to a crisp on the beach, tanning goggles can speed up the human to lobster transformation.

3) The Boy is really afraid of the idea of human to lobster transformations.

4) No one looks sexy doing Latin Dance themed water aerobics, no matter how much the instructor yells, "sexy! sexy! sexy!"

5) The word, "sexy" when spoken with a heavy Dominican accent, sounds like, 'sessy'. This is hilarious.

6) I can no longer blame the weather for my crankitude levels. Turns out, if you cut me in line to the bar and are a douchebag to the bartender, I'm just as likely to hope he spits in your mojito in sunny, seaside paradise as in snowy New York.

Pictured: different bartender, different mojito.

7) Papaya salted with lime is a delicious breakfast.

8) The song 'Imagine' by John Lennon is nothing without Lennon's voice, studio musicians and Lennon's ability to speak English. And no amount of dancers in white leotards holding hula hops can change that.

It was...just awful.

9) When left to my own devices I will remain in large bodies of water for 80% of the day.

Pictured: different body of water, different awkward water-dweller.

10) Ice cream is also a delicious breakfast.