Thursday, January 27, 2011

Feminine Wiles Mean Nothing to a Man With a Plow

or The 22 Hour Day

Some of you may have noticed that it snowed yesterday. Like, a shit-ton. It turned New York into a beautiful, dreamy winter wonderland and was a raging pain in my ass. 

Image courtesy of Miss Pink Slip

It started out so innocently. Early morning tufts of snow in my red snow boots. A stray bit of ice in the collar of my coat.

Then....45 minutes to drive 8 miles. A closed parking garage and a delayed train seriously jeopardizing my audition (I made it on time, though, which proves that I can only be punctual when I've given up all hope).

Thankfully, the snow didn't interfere with my dinner at Lure Fishbar* or drinks afterwards (where I told several humiliating stories that will not be making it onto the blog).
This is Alec Baldwin waiting for a table at Lure. That means he and I have eaten at the same restaurant (not on the same night...yet).
As my friends and I emerged, we blinked in wonder at the empty streets and late night wanderers throwing snowballs. I hoped that it wouldn't interfere with me getting home, har har har.

A two-hour train ride later, I finally made it to the car.  I slid and slipped to the highway....which wasn't plowed. The teeny back rode near the Dunkin Donuts** is clean as the Queen's throne but the major interstate is covered in two feet of snow.

So, a few creative turns later and I'm almost home. Of course, I'm also totally stuck in a snowbank.

Just as I was about to get really discouraged three good Samaritans came and started shovelling me out with anything we could find- feet, a stray bumper, etc. Plow after plow passed us and ignored our pleas and waving for help.  Although, to be honest, I was just so touched at these strangers stopping to help a stranger in a snowstorm at 3 in the morning (oh, did I not mention it was 3 in the fucking morning?) that I didn't care.

Two of these lovely people even came and made sure I made it home safe. Home at last, right? Wrong. Snow, snow everywhere and not a place to park.

Let me paint you a picture: I have been awake for 20 hours, I've spent the last hour pushing my car out of the snow, and I am now facing at least an hour of shovelling. One of the Samaritans suggested I use my feminine wiles to flag down a plow. I smiled and sent her on her way with some hot chocolate and many thanks. Now, if I learned anything from this entire experience it is this:

Feminie wiles mean nothing to a man with a plow.

 Bed has never felt so good as it did at 5:00am after a 22 hour day of rushing, pushing and shovelling. 
Image courtesy of This is Glamorous
 So, if you need me, I will be reading, resting and doing nothing unpleasant today.
Image courtesy of Sacramento Street
If you see him, tell him I could use his assistance.

You have been a very bad man, Baldwin. Spanking, my room, 10 minutes.

Have a very happy snow day, everyone.

*which I highly recommend visiting during Restaurant Week, and not just because Alec Baldwin once ate there. Did I mention Alec Baldwin ate there once? 

**have you tried their caramel hot chocolate? It is liquid crack.


  1. re: "Feminine wiles mean nothing to a man with a plow."


  2. When snow happens you can count on 2 things in CT:
    1.) Dunkin Donuts will always be accessible. So don't ever work there unless you love coffee and absolutely love having to work always, everyday, forever.
    2.) The supermarket will always be open.
    One other thing....
    If this was the first snow, you and your hot self would have been golden. For the rest of the winter we are all on our own so bring a shovel and think of it as a free work out. :) Yay Winter.

  3. Have you tried the salted caramel hot chocolate at Starbucks? Even more addictive.

  4. MM- yes and yum, yum, yum. My new obsession in Lindt Salted Dark Chocolate.