Some Unwanted Advice for Your Wednesday

Pre-entry FYI: some exciting things coming up on the blog, including a giveaway so tell all your friends about the weird blog by the girl who falls down a lot. 

How to Stay Sane on an Airplane

I've already done some travel-type advice entries, I know, but I am super good at making flights fly by so I thought I'd share. The Boy can fall asleep instantly on an airplane and stay asleep for as long as 12 hours. I know, I flew to New Zealand with him. But I can't, so here are some ways that I make flying as optimal as possible, so as to avoid this feeling:

1) Sound reducing headphones.

They are expensive, but worth it. The second I put them on I knew I never wanted to fly without them again. I put earplugs under them when I want to sleep and it gets reeeallly quiet.

2) Travel slippers.

I never would have bought these for myself, but I got them as a Christmas present and they changed everything. Taking off my shoes and putting these on has become part of my takeoff ritual, and it instantly calms me down and gets me ready for the flight.

3) Takeoff Ritual.

Rituals are soothing, so get one. Here's mine: before I put my bag in the overhead and my purse under the seat, I take out everything I will possibly need. I put my water, phone, Kindle and iPad all within reach, I put my eye mask on my head, my earphones on my ears and my slippers on my feet, and get settled under the blanket. I also keep a little bag next to me with my earplugs, Visine, chapstick, gum, hand moisturizer and melatonin for the long flights.  Then I pester the person next to me for real sleeping pills. It's fun for everyone.

4) Eye mask.

I don't understand men's aversion to these. You're asleep, what do you care what people think of you? They make everything better.

5) Enormous water bottle.

Drink it all before security. Refill it once you're through. Rinse, repeat. This not only keeps you hydrated enough to drink wine on the plane, it also ensures that you'll get up to pee during the flight so you don't have a leg stroke. That's right, I'm a blogger who cares.

6) The right music and books.

This sounds basic, but I've been next to people who wiggle and tap their feet the whole flight and I had to murder them, so you want to avoid anything that will inspire that kind of behavior. You know, for your own safety. Get something that you love and know really well, so if you get tired you can fall asleep. I've listened to certain Billy Holiday songs so much that I get sleepy whenever they come on no matter where I am. And the Disney soundtrack is excellent for early morning arrivals in foreign lands. German, by the way, is hilarious when set to the Little Mermaid soundtrack.