Birthdays: Harbingers of Cake and Death

My birthday is next week, which is exciting because of cake but also crap because of the inevitable decay and decline into death. Pardon my grimness, I just came from the dermatologist*. Which is part of why this wishlist doesn't include any of the more practical things that I want for my birthday, like acting classes, because that's just not as pretty, you know? These are the kinds of presents that grownup classy ladies give and get. But then, grownup classy ladies don't get to eat ice cream at midnight in bed so I think we're about even.

This Awesome Sweatshirt

Being comfortable and literate are two of my highest priorities.

This Bracelet

A classic. 

This Mask

For the girl who likes looking like a zombie at night and Cate Blanchet by day. 

This Belt

So obsessed. I think it's because deep down I'm still the 13 year old girl who got made fun of at horse camp because I didn't have any clothes with my initials on them. Horsie girls are bitches.

  These Mugs
Classy, but a little weird.

Have a good week everyone!









*who recommended that to prevent aging I "quit moving my face so much." 

To each, then, his own fate.

In light of my new not-embarrassing-myself-policy, I've given up trying to achieve this look:



Ethereal blonde, pale skin, and nearly matching makeup and clothes. I've got one hell of a girl-crush on Cate Blanchett.

But no matter how much peroxide or orange eyeshadow I use, that will never be me. And that's all right.

The most commonly used definition of the word 'to embarrass' is this: "to cause confusion and shame to; make uncomfortably self-conscious; disconcert; abash: His bad table manners embarrassed her."

Now, I cannot speak for Jesse Ball, but I know that the definition I've been using in my new philosophy is this: "to put obstacles or difficulties in the way of; impede."

By acting or dressing in a way that is not comfortable to me (which is to say, feels unique to me), I put obstacles in the way of my self. I impede the self- that elusive object that expresses my desires, isolates me from the herd and allows me to believe that despite the din that surrounds me, my small voice is important.

We all act in ways that impede our selves- whether it's by agreeing to something we don't want to do simply because we're afraid of saying no, quelling an inspiration because we're afraid of the reaction or letting someone influence us without inspiring us.

Of course, it would be unrealistic to try and stop cold turkey, but it's something I hope to be more and more mindful of as time goes on.


So. If you are most comfortable as an ethereal blonde, either through peroxide or nature, all the more power to you. I am a Garnier Nutrisse brunette. To each, then, his own fate.