Spring RTW Trends

So, fashion week is over and the world is forever changed. Oh, wait. Of course it's not. MBFW left a bevvy of sore footed, underfed and overtired girls but for once I wasn't one of them! I didn't go a single show, party or event this year and it didn't make much of a difference for anyone.

But this post isn't about the low-level hum of fashionable existential crisis that buzzes in the back of my brain this time of year. So, without further ado, here are my thoughts on the trends of this season.

Of course there were the perennial spring trends: pastels, flapper influences....florals. For spring. Groundbreaking*. There were also some trends that returned from last season, indicating the staying power of monochromatic outfits, white dresses and Greek goddess-esque maxi dresses.

But here's a recap of the other, more unusual trends that I noticed.

Stripes

I love those shoes.

Stripes are, in some ways, classic: they add an instant elegant nautical vibe to an outfit. But this year I noticed stripes worn with other patterns or different stripes creating a kind of...drunken nautical vibe that I really liked.

Image courtesy of The Sartorialist

How to wear it: carefully. Avoid wearing different stripes in similiar colors. If you're wearing multiple patterns, only one should be bright, shiny or loud in any way.

Midriff Baring Tops and Dresses

All runway images courtesy of Style.com

Lots of crop tops, bandeau tops and dresses with cut-outs in the midriff areas this year.


How to wear it: please don't. Thanks.


Ladylike Skirts....with Leather

I love the mid-length skirt trend, and my favorites are vintage silhouettes like pencil skirts or flared 50s style. Those were all over the runway, and I loved when they were modernized with leather trim or paired with a leather top.

Image courtesy of The Sartorialist

How to wear it: try colored leather if you're shy about looking like a dominatrix and let it steal the show.

Hats

Because all of these outfits are really lacking drama....

Hats are my perrennial trend. Every year, I look for every collection that features any headwear and announce that hats are 'back' in a lifelong attempt to get more people to wear them. They just add an element of drama to any outfit.

Image courtesy of the Facehunter

How to wear it: on your head, jackass.

Fringe

Fringe is one of those things that can add drama and instant je-ne-sais-quoi status or can be the trashiest thing since me. But it always makes you want to move, and I loved what No. 21 and Gucci in particular.

Image courtesy of Dre De Carlo

How to wear it: the one time I really hate fringe is when it's leather or suede. Unless you're going to a rodeo, don't dress like a bullrider. It's mostly an evening look, but I like the idea of a fringed dress with boots and a leather jacket.

Tits

I mean, not big ones. But bigger**.  And, yes, there were still a few of these:

Isn't she...precious.

That ain't right.

But I saw a lot of girls that would have been required to lose weight in years past and it cheered the hell out of me. Maybe it's the Lara Stone's effect, maybe it's the fact that Elizabeth Taylor was cited by designer after designer as an influence, or maybe the pressure from the media and the advocate's groups is finally working. Either way,  it's good news. Especially for me because I have big old knockers.

How to wear it: not on your head.



*Is it wrong that when I see that movie, it makes me want to be more like Miranda?
** I recently devised a new classification system for breasts:
Whatters: totally flat breasts that I don't know what to do with. 
Plinkers- itty bitty titties that you just want to flick with your finger.
Cuppers: small but curvy breasts you just want to cup a little, a la Diana Ross with Lil' Kim.
Handfuls: enough said.
Whatnowers: my friend has these, and she would rather call them 'Oh, I'm Sorry's but she's had men come up to her and tell her they'd like their girlfriends' implants to look like her natural whatnowers so I'm sticking by my original title.

In retrospect, it's more of a tap.