Lord.

Here are the reasons that my Zumba class tonight was the best in the history of the world (and yes, I am aware of the light that sentence casts me in):
for a glossary of the terms used in this entry, click here.

1) We had a new teacher who played actual hip hop* as opposed to hip hop-esque music with the word Zumba substituted for anything that would make the Ancients blush. As a result, I saw an elderly Indian man not only sing along to "Sexy and You Know It" but also respond, when we were asked by the instructor "who in here is sexy and they know it?" with an enthusiastic "I DO!"

2) There was a very sweet, very uncoordinated gay gentleman in the class today, and it threw everyone off. There was one elderly woman (not an ancient) who, after repeatedly trying to follow his lead said, "this is the stereotype you choose to buck?!"

3) Someone left an exercise ball in the Crazy Ancient's corner and every few minutes she'd yell, "Balls! Balls! Yup!"

By the way, I say this with full knowledge that I am in no way as cool as any of these people. That's not false modesty, either. I've been going to this fercockt class at least once a week for months and still the only move I've really mastered is shaking my tits. 

*which is very different from real hip hop, since what plays on the radio is mainly pop bullshit with a hint of hip hop. I'm looking at you, Pitbull.