Travel Recaps: Stuttgart

When I arrived in Stuttgart, I was cranky. Like, travelled for 24 hours, starting at 4am, concluding at 10am the following morning cranky. And the 8 hour time difference totally cocked me up, and it's not as though I have a rock solid grip on time as is.

So I grouched myself into a taxi, grumbled into my hotel, and then lurched onto the bed, determined to dislike everyone and everything around me. I woke up at 4am the next morning and felt....better. But I still didn't like anyone. At 5am, I decided to go for a run to clear my head and take in all the stupid sights.

The BMW Mercedes Building is lovely if...a little ominous, no?

Guys, the sights were freaking delightful. Stuttgart made it really hard to be cranky. The roses were blooming, the buildings were beautiful, and there was a 30 yard stretch of the park full of sleeping ducks.

These old dudes were the only ones awake, clearly having the morning kvetch.

As I rounded the corner on these sculptures I literally stopped dead in my tracks and said, "Oh, for fuck's sake!" Out loud, much to the surprise of the woman jogging nearby.

It was scenic as balls and it put me in a good mood that lasted until the late afternoon when the worst jetlag I have ever had kicked in, just as we were about to shoot the hosiery section of the catalog. By the way, next time you buy a pair of tights and see the lovely legs on the packaging, you should know that the model who owns those legs had to hoist her ass in the air and pretend to sit upside down to make them look like that.

But all's well that ends well and the shoot went smoothly and afterwards I treated myself to a gelato. Oh, it also happened to be THE BEST FUCKING GELATO IN THE WORLD. Seriously, Stuttgart is worth a trip just for Old Bridge Gelateria. I had a scoop of nutella gelato and a scoop of frozen yogurt and spent the whole time debating which was better.  I almost cried when I got to the cone...UNTIL I BIT THE CONE. EVEN THE CONES ARE BETTER THAN ANYTHING ELSE EVER. If this company doesn't hire me again soon I think I'll go into withdrawal.

Shoes, Shoes, Shoes

I love these shoes.

Rochas Lizard Mule

I love these shoes so friggin much.

I know I say I love a lot of shoes but I really think these might be My Perfect Shoes. Just like I say I love every dog I see but I know somewhere out there is My Perfect Dog. Unless I blew all my dog karma with my first dog, Shucks, who used to come hang out with me when I had detention and with whom I was in a talent show that also featured Kurt Vonnegut. We're getting off topic.

I just love these shoes.

Hamburg Holiday

I spent Thanksgiving in Hamburg, Germany, and while I was working for most of the time, I did get to enjoy their Christmas Fair, which is a uniquely European phenomenon that I totally adore.

Every year, from November to January many towns in Europe have a Christmas fair in the evenings with hot mulled wine, local food and local artists' wares.

In the case of Hamburg, their culinary specialties are fried seafood, sausage, apple pastries and an invention so genius that it makes me almost totally forget about the whole Holocaust thing.

You're ok, Deutschland.

That's right. Waffles on a stick. Delicious, cakey, German waffles covered in Nutella on a stick so you can walk around and find the next thing you'd like to put in your mouth before you're even done. Pure genius, I tell you.

I wish we'd import these fairs and their be-sticked wonders in America, but they'd probably charge $12 for a mug of hot wine, so perhaps it's for the best.

I love how sparkly and cozy these fairs feel, and how they celebrate what makes each town unique. So, in that vein, I'm compiled a list of things that I feel exemplify that spirit that would give any celebration a shiny, quirky feeling.

calendar, heels, clock, paperweights, boots, tart servers, earrings, camera

Not included: mulled wine. Have a happy holiday everyone!

Gift Guide: Under $50

Gift guides are like pancakes: I love them early in the season but by late December I'm totally over them and ready to be done with the sugar high. But at the moment it hasn't hit me, and there's still enough butter to make it enjoyable.


That metaphor kind of took over and now I just really want pancakes. At any rate, here are a few little luxury items that are useful but not practical, which is what this time of year is all about!  The best presents are things you want, but would never buy for yourself. Like, I'm not sure I could ever justify a s'mores kit for myself, but I'd love to give it to someone I know will enjoy it.

Topshop slippers, $28

Zombie Legs Bookmark, $25

Terrain Birch Vase, $14

Gold Wishbone, $48

Dypthique Mini Candles, $28

E-reader case, $50. How gorgeous is the teal? I'd pair it with this iPhone case and this iPad case.

Winter Wishes Holiday Postcards, $14

Fresh Frog of Bel Air Nail Polish, $10

Porcelain Dog Pillow Cover, $20

Kate Spade Thermos, $35

Hope you're all staying sane and warm. I am definitely one of those two things.

It's Monday...what the fuck.

Happy Monday! It's already kicking my ass. 45 minutes into dealing with my broken coffee grinder I started to think that Dahmer was seriously misunderstood. Then I dropped my keys into a bowl full of dirty dish water and became just plain stabby.

But this weekend was lovely, complete with cake for breakfast, drunk brunch and a Brooklyn craft market which left me feeling like an old lady as I hobbled home. As if the aquafit class I took with about a dozen senior citizens earlier this week hadn't done the trick. It was awesome, by the way. A great workout and I came away with gardening tips and great recipes. I've never felt so old and so young at the same time.

Besides the bad back and the confused sense of self/age, it really was a killer summer weekend.

What up, Aquafit?

My neighbour's roses are in bloom so there are flowers all over my house.

And by all over the house I mean on my head, naturally.

I have several lakeside getaways planned for the summer.

And I will look just like this while on them

Hope you had a fantastic weekend. Here's a quick and easy summer recipe:

Thyme Lemonade
1 1/2 cup sugar
1 bunch fresh thyme (save some for garnishes)
2 cups fresh lemon juice
1 cup gin

Heat lemon juice and sugar until sugar is dissolved. Add thyme, keep just below a boil until it smells good. Cool, add gin. Garnish. Drink. Repeat.

To be honest, I just used good store bought lemonade, crushed the thyme in it and added gin but whatever floats your boat.

Get it? It's a boat. 

 

Shut up, it's Monday. 

Weekend Projects

Made some shoes a few weekends ago and never got around to posting about them.

Before:

Cuteish, but I never wore them and I just wasn't feeling it anymore. So, here's the after:

Step 1: Clean shoes
Step 2: Tape over any parts of the shoe you don't want painted
Step 3: Spray paint heel, preferably a groovy metallic colour.
Step 4: Hotglue fake roses to shoes.

Step 5: Wear.

Have a great week!

Bern, Day 2 & 3

Bern, Day 2 & 3: 

In Which the Author Keeps it Classy

WARNING: The following paragraphs include opinions formulated over 3 days in one Swiss city. To skip to the facts, scroll down until you see pictures. 

So, at dinner tonight, I referred to something as, "wicked classy." I was then told that to say something is "wicked classy" is, in fact, less than wicked classy. Later on in that dinner, I revealed something that I usually save for week 2 or 3 of an acquaintance, which is my unwavering love for Fran Drescher. Oh, yeah. I was classing it up.

That said, Switzerland is, unlike me, wicked classy.  They're just extra civilized, somehow. Cars slow to a stop for pedestrians everywhere, they have trams that smell nice instead of subways that smell like pee, and the most raucous behavior we saw on a Saturday night was a few teens dancing and laughing....somewhat loudly.

Part of their class may stem from the fact that, as far as I can tell, it's a country full of people pleasers. Like, when hosting the 2008 Dutch group football matches, they coated their city in orange and some of the street signs are orange to this day. There are only 3 bay windows in the entire city of Bern because it is thought to be an overly ostentatious display of wealth*.

Of course, it's also a rather enigmatic place. Switzerland is kind of like that person that everyone likes but nobody really knows. The one that always has a joke and way to break the tension but never really reveals anything about themselves. Like, when discussing the explosives rigged to every bridge and tunnel, most Swiss citizens demure and say things like, "well, we had a much more advanced defense system in the olden times," or, "yes, but it's just a formality at this point." And when Carlos revealed that there are tunnels and caves hidden all over the country I wondered if there wasn't some level of preparation here that other countries were lacking. In other words, if I should be heading back here if the shit hits the fan, apocolypse-wise. "Oh, no," he said. Enigmatic, to be sure.

And also gorgeous as balls. Bern is 1/3 green: either park or grass or river. It's been harnessing the power of the river that runs through it for over 500 years and everyone swims in it when the weather gets hot. You can also drink out of any of the many fountains dotted around the city.

Anyways, back to the facts. Here's what I've done in Bern so far.

I woke up to this.

 That smaller cathedral was the first cathedral in Bern. It survived the 1405 fire that destroyed much of the city. It's prized as one of the old buildings in Bern because, you know, anything after 1405 is so new and fresh. Definitely worth a visit. More info here.

I drank out of this.

 This is the most fountain in Bern, known as the Ogre or 'Baby Eater' Fountain. Not sure if this photo shows it, but he is munching on a few babies. Enigmatic, no?

I giggled at them.

 They had a marching band perform in honor of the Weavers' Guild coming to town. I'm not really sure what any of that means but I liked their socks.

I recognized him.

 I worked with this guy on a catalog shoot. It was weird seeing him all over Bern.

I fantasized about this.

Bright colored houses right next to each other with community gardens and funny shaped bushes are prime fodder for my retirement with my girlfriend fantasies.

I walked through here

 It's the capital building and is open for free tours during weekdays. I didn't get to go have a tour, but it's a gorgeous building so I'd recommend it. Their website is here.

I bought some of this.

There's a farmers market near the capital on Sunday and Tuesday mornings from 6:00am-1:00pm. It's mostly flowers, vegetables and plants but there are some tourist friendly products like dried lavender and it's a beautiful walk regardless. More info here.

I sampled this.

Right down the street from the farmers' market is a meat and cheese market. I cannot recommend this enough. There are free samples, cute Swiss farmers, and other goodies. This cheese stall stood out from all the rest, too. Freshest cheese I've ever eaten. Their website is here.

I wore this.

The Swiss tourist has a long, white coat in infancy and adolescence but the adults have a shorter, blue coat, making them easy for the young ones to spot in a crowd.

I went in this.

 Tallest church in Switzerland, free admission, beautiful and weird stained glass.

More info here.

So, that's what we did. More later.

P.S. Speaking of class, The Boy said of Obama the other day, "I love how he's like, BAM, with the class." And I've decided that my ring is like that. It might not be subtle. Or understated. But it is like, BAM, with the class.

I wear this.

Because, you know, comparing one's engagement ring to the President of the United States is a totally normal thing to do.

*Upon revealing this, Carlos said, "sometimes the Swiss are a little too Swiss even for me." And Carlos is really, really Swiss.

Birthday Nonsense

At midnight on my birthday, I was roused from my computer daze by the sight of the boy with my favorite kind of cake: grocery store cake. The kind that makes your teeth squeak.

Birthday Cake

And it was pretty much all sugar and roses from there on out. Literally. Lots of sugar, roses, and champagne, to be precise. Damn, it feels good to be a gangster. Where gangster is whitest girly girl ever.



The weekend had everything good: burgers at 5 Guys, brunch with friends, fancy cocktails at this bar, which I highly recommend, and my beautiful, amazing friends.

Birthday Nails by Sally Hansen

Birthday Necklace by The Boy

I also made some birthday cupcakes for a little slumber party I had with a few of my girlfriends and they were pretty amazing, if you don't mind my bragging. I adapted them from this recipe and here's what I came up with:

Birthday Cupcakes

aka strawberry champagne cupcakes

1 1/4 cup flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/3 cup coconut milk
1/3 cup champagne/sparkling white wine

2/3 cup strawberry puree (the original recipe calls for 1/3 but this makes them super moist)
3/4 cup sugar
1/3 cup vegetable oil
1/2 teaspoon vanilla 

For Frosting

1 cup champagne
1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, room temperature, cut into tablespoons
2 1/2 to 3 1/2 cups confectioners' sugar
2-3 tablespoons milk or cream, as needed

and I added 1/3 cup strawberry puree. This made the frosting softer and more of a glaze, giving the cupcakes kind of a jam taste which I love, love, loved but omit if you want a more classic cupcake. 

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Line a muffin pan with paper liners.

In a large bowl, sift together flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt.

In a separate bowl, whisk together coconut milk, champagne, strawberry puree, sugar, vanilla, and oil. Make a well in the center of the dry ingredients and pour in the wet ingredients. Mix until relatively smooth. Fill cupcake liners with a scant 1/4 cup of batter (cups should be just under 2/3 of the way full). Bake for 18-22 minutes or until set, and toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Transfer to cooling rack and allow to cool completely.

For frosting, bring champagne to a simmer in a small saucepan. Continue to boil gently until only 2-3 tablespoons of liquid remain. Remove from heat and set aside to cool. This happens faster than you think. One second it's bubbly champagne and the next it's syrup, so be sure and watch it. I overdid mine a little, and lost a lot of the champagne-y flavor in the frosting.

Cream butter in electric mixer for 1-2 minutes until fluffy. Slowly add 1 cup sugar and beat until smooth. Add 2 tablespoons reduced champagne and mix. Continue to add confectioners’ sugar, 1/2 cup at a time, and beat until light and fluffy. Add cream or more sugar as necessary to achieve proper consistency. Pipe or spread onto cooled cupcakes.

 Then, if you are so inclined, top with strawberries and beautiful mermaid cupcake toppers that were a gift from your mom. 

 

I hope you all are having a great week- mine is lots of coffee, classes, work and email catch up. This weekend I head home to help my mom move and I'm trying to get my affairs in order before then.