Weekend Beauty Tip

I'm a huge fan of scrubs and exfoliators- I've bought them, made them, combined them. But this past weekend I stumbled upon the best one I've ever used. Here's how I discovered it:

This is the scrub I use for my lips when they get dry, especially in the winter:

1 tsp lemon juice

1/2 tsp olive oil

1 tsp sugar

It works pretty well, and I decided to make a larger batch for my hands. I have terrible cuticles, and I can never get them to look as good as they do at a salon, so I decided to give myself a Big Fancy Manicure. I thought this might be the key. But, because I'm a raging spaz, I grabbed the wrong bottle and instead of olive oil, dumped a crap ton of balsamic vinegar into the bowl of lemon and sugar. 

It looked and smelled gross but, because I am super lazy, I decided to go with it. 

You guys. My hands were so soft. So, so, so soft. Freaky soft. I kept chasing The Boy around making suuuper inappropriate Of Mice and Men references. Really disturbing stuff.

By the end of the weekend, I had scrubbed my whole body, including my face with this scrub and I was softer than a baby's ass*. I felt like if someone tried to hug me I would just slip right off of them. I swapped rice vinegar for my face because I was nervous about balsamic being too strong and it works just as well. I was so freaking dewy.

In conclusion: vinegar is amazing. I have really sensitive skin and there was zero irritation, which I've only experienced from one brand, SukiPure. But this is a much more affordable option.

Have a beautiful weekend!

*Full disclosure: I have never touched a baby's ass. Doody comes out of there.

Weekend Recap & Superbowl Tips

This has pretty much been my weekend, with the exception of one evening of cocktails and sushi out with The Boy.

So, I thought I'd think back to a past weekend and offer some wisdom.

How to dress for the Super Bowl 

a guide for the sports disinclined

1. Aim to incorporate as many items into your outfit that say, "I'm an American, goddamnit!" For example, corporate logos are a good way to show your support for the flagging economy.

2. Americans love guns.

3. Make sure to wear loose fitting garments, as you'll want to distract yourself with the snacks, of which there should be many. If you are somewhere where there are not lots of snacks, leave immediately.

In fact, I'm going to go ahead and add that to my repertoire of Life Advice: if there are not lots of delicious snacks where you are, leave.

4. Wear comfortable shoes. If, for example, you're a Patriots fan who has a long walk, a subway ride and a train ride home, you'll be surrounded by lots of drunk, adrenaline-fueled enemies. You may need to run.

      Now, if a drunken Giants fan should approach you on the train, try and make your Sam Adams Boston lager clearly visible. Avoid eye contact, look disinterested and put your bag on the seat next to you. Then, if this fails, do what I did.

Motion for him to come closer. Smile. "No, closer."
Once you can smell his beery breath say, "Hey. Can I tell you something?"
Try to look as sweet, flirty and unassuming as possible as you say:

"I'm engaged, I'm a wicked bitch, and I'm from fucking Boston."

Weekend Recap

Some of you may know that I recently had surgery on my sinuses to fix a deviated septum, chronic sinusitus and problems with my hearing that I've had ever since I was a kid. It was one of those things I didn't really think too much of until a friend of mine who had the surgery pointed out that it wasn't normal to get 5-6 sinus infections a year. Also I hadn't really heard my own voice in 2 years.

Immediately after the surgery my hearing improved. While I was in post-op, still groggy and delighted from the medication, I kept poking my nurse and saying, "no, no, no. You don't understand. I sound weird.... like ME. I sound like me. Like me. Can I have jello?"

I was her favorite.

Of course, surgeries mean recuperation so apart from a few castings (where I gave the photographers a pose I call 'Congested Chic') I've been pretty much bed or couchridden.

But by this weekend I was feeling more than a little stir crazy and sick of looking like this:

So I tried poking the Boy until he got annoyed, following the cat around the house, watching movies and yelling at the screen. Nothing worked.

Sometimes a lady just has to throw on her faux fur coat and take herself out for bacon and waffles.

And sometimes that lady spills coffee on her faux fur coat.

The outfit, I think, was due to overexposure to this video, which I can't make up my mind about.



I mean,  love the clothes, love the tigers, kind of like the song. But if she does one more little pantomime motion I'm going to strangle her with her own head wreath.

Happy MLK weekend everyone!

Late Weekend Recap

I ate this. It was awesome.

Blogger was being a little bitch yesterday but it was Monday so I couldn't really blame them. So here's a quick rundown of my weekend.

First I had beautiful drinks at this place with my hilarious friend and I was shocked to find crazy delicious food at a Tiki Bar. Who knew creme fraiche and truffle oil went with tropical food?

Then, my mother came over. I brought the lobster, she brought the hilarity.

The meal was delicious.

In addition to hilarity, she also brought about a farm's worth of fruits and vegetables which I have been living off of all week.

The boy and I had beautiful berry breakfasts all weekend in addition to some flower tea I brought back from Switzerland.

Then, on Sunday, to detox from all the classiness, we went to a baseball game and had beer and hotdogs. There was also something about sports.

Actually, I found the sports a lot more interesting in person. Besides, I had the world's smallest Mets fan right next to me shouting, "let's go Mets! Let's go Mets!" so it was hard not to get into the spirit.

And now I'm throwing myself into work this week and getting shit done. Thursday I head to NH for, brace yourself, a spa and cruise weekend with my dad. Has there ever been a more bizarre sentence than that?

Spa+Cruise+Dad= New Hampshire?

I bet it will be a total blast.

It's Monday...what the fuck.

Happy Monday! It's already kicking my ass. 45 minutes into dealing with my broken coffee grinder I started to think that Dahmer was seriously misunderstood. Then I dropped my keys into a bowl full of dirty dish water and became just plain stabby.

But this weekend was lovely, complete with cake for breakfast, drunk brunch and a Brooklyn craft market which left me feeling like an old lady as I hobbled home. As if the aquafit class I took with about a dozen senior citizens earlier this week hadn't done the trick. It was awesome, by the way. A great workout and I came away with gardening tips and great recipes. I've never felt so old and so young at the same time.

Besides the bad back and the confused sense of self/age, it really was a killer summer weekend.

What up, Aquafit?

My neighbour's roses are in bloom so there are flowers all over my house.

And by all over the house I mean on my head, naturally.

I have several lakeside getaways planned for the summer.

And I will look just like this while on them

Hope you had a fantastic weekend. Here's a quick and easy summer recipe:

Thyme Lemonade
1 1/2 cup sugar
1 bunch fresh thyme (save some for garnishes)
2 cups fresh lemon juice
1 cup gin

Heat lemon juice and sugar until sugar is dissolved. Add thyme, keep just below a boil until it smells good. Cool, add gin. Garnish. Drink. Repeat.

To be honest, I just used good store bought lemonade, crushed the thyme in it and added gin but whatever floats your boat.

Get it? It's a boat. 

 

Shut up, it's Monday. 

Weekend Projects

Well, my weekend so far has consisted of cake for breakfast, lots of aspirin (a rogue biker in Nuremburg appears to have buggered my shoulder) and geography lessons on YouTube. But I'm hoping things will take a more productive turn soon.

Speaking of productive, here is a project that I recently got around to after seeing this foot stool sit around my (very) messy office for ages. Everyone always told me reupholstering was incredibly easy but I never really believed them. But all you need is some small nails, fabric, a hammer, and something to pull out large staples with. And voila:

Before

After

I've been thinking about painting the wooden part, but I'm afraid that might make it a little bit too twee. Besides, I really should focus on getting my office to a place where I can walk in the door without fear of impaling my foot on something. Anyways, hope your weekend is going smashingly!

Weekend

This weekend was catching up with friends over good food and wine and remembering that I am a human being, even if I'm a human being who occasionally sounds like she's hacking up a lung and has to go to bed early.

Unfortunately, I may have overdone it a little so now I'm just taking it easy, doing a little cleaning.

Also, I need your help. I have this image of a hairpiece that I love to pieces (see what I did there) and I can't remember where it's from or who made it. If anyone knows, that would be awesome.

Hope you all had a fantastic weekend!

P.S. My birthday is next week! Obviously can't decide what to do.

Happy Friday!

It's the weekend! And since it's starting off as a snowy one, I thought I'd leave you with some summery images and a fresh, summery cocktail because I'm 10,000,000% over the idea of snow.

Image Courtesy of Chic Muse

Image Courtesy of Stardust & Sequins

 The Salty Dog

4 oz. freshly squeezed grapefruit juice
2 oz. Hendrick’s gin
1/4 teaspoon salt mixed with 1/8 tsp sugar, for rimming

Pour all ingredients over ice cubes in a highball glass rimmed with salt/sugar mixture. Stir well & serve. Serves 1.

Hendrick's is my favorite thing, and grapefuit juice is The Boy's favorite thing, so if you'll excuse me I'm going to partake...

P.S. This is awesome, and also adorable. Crocheted Food. I can't.  

Weekend Recap

=This weekend was lots of coffee, delivery, late nights, giggling and working hard on the house. It was great. It's not done, but we covered a lot of ground. More pictures to come.

Not sure if you can tell, but this is an organized closet

Also an organized bureau

Next: the living room.

Happy Weekend!

HAPPY WEEKEND, EVERYONE!

Image courtesy of Oh Joy!

In the immortal words on one R. Kelly, it's the freaking weekend, baby, I'm about to have me some fun.