I AM Auntie Mame....

 Big Freaking News: The Boy's sister and her husband are expecting a child. And, since this is my blog,  which means everything is about me, that means that I can now expect to be an aunt! An aunt! Aunts are important! I've loved all of my aunts! I'm so excited I could pee*.

When discussing possible monikers, I wasn't satisfied with the typical Aunt/Auntie Sarah options. There was something lacking. Then I remembered what I've been periodically bellowing at The Boy for the past few weeks:


I. am. Auntie. Mame. 

If you have not witnessed the cinematic brilliance that is Auntie Mame, stop reading this and go watch it now. I'll wait.  It's on Netflix Watch Instantly so it will be easy-peasy-don't-be-sleazy.

It may be subtle as a blow to the head and 45 minutes too long but it is also the singularly most influential film on my life and style since Roman Holiday. It was made in the 50s about the 20s, so there's bright colors, loud patterns and headwear up the wazoo. To prepare for the child-to-be**, I've put together a small list of what it takes to be Auntie Mame.
Note: I have not been sponsored by any of the following companies, nor do I own any of the following items. In other words, if you want to buy them for me, I'll be your best friend forever because I fucking love presents.

Loud Pants

Inspiration

Actualization

Pants via Zara 79.90

Pants via Zara 79.90

Inspiration

Actualization

Pants via Zara 59.90

Pants via Anna Kaci 26.90

Luckily, Mame-appropriate legwear is experiencing a resurgance in the fashion world. Pajama sets, sequin pants, patterned pants, and matchy-matchy suits are all the rage. Example A: this H&M window.  

Go forth and lose all sense of subtlety. 

Fantastic Hats

Inspiration

Actualization

Hat via EBay 28.00

Hat via Modcloth 29.99

   

Inspiration

Actualization

Hat via Modcloth 34.99

Hat via ArtFire 31.90

Every year, I (and several other magazines) declare hats to be the newest It accessory, as though it's breaking news that hats are amazing. So, I'm just going to adapt a pro-hats stance year round.

A Cigarette Holder

 Inspiration
Every other minute of Auntie Mame. Have you watched it yet?

Actualization

Item via EBay

Item via RubyLane 75.00

I don't smoke, but I do hold a fake cigarette to go with my bourbon or coffee whenever I write and now I think it may have to go in a chic as fuck holder. Also excellent for gesticulating. 

All fashion related ramblings aside, though, I am so happy for the expecting parents. They are rock stars, and their kid is so lucky he chose them. They also come with a crazy big tribe of endless support and love, including this pleased as punch aunt. Now someone get me a damn glass of punch. 

*And I've only had to breathe into a paper bag once. Because, you know, aunts are important. And I'm a little afraid of babies. It's the soft spot.
**Who, in honor of another idol of mine, will be known forthwith as Schlomo. 

Late to the Pajama Party

I am always late. Always. Despite being the punctual one in my family (sorry Mom & Dad, but it's just not our skill set) I am the late one in the real world. I am always "working on it" and "getting so much better" but eventually I will have to accept that I can neither pass by a puppy without saying hello nor gauge the correct amount of time it takes for me to get myself out the door.

I am also late when it comes to trends. And I usually change my mind when I see the potential for comfort. For example, I was completely anti-leggings until I realized that they were like tights for people who don't hate their crotch*.

Ponchos and capes seemed silly and over dramatic until I realized it would be like walking around wrapped in a blanket. Also, they're fantastically silly and over dramatic!

The latest trend that I've turncoated on is pajama pants. They were all over the spring runways and I scoffed until I realized that it meant we could wear pajama pants. In public! To parties! With no judgement! 

Jonathan Saunders

Jil Sander

Stella McCartney

Antonio Marras

As always, I decided to try this trend with a cheap Goodwill find before splurging. And I lucked out with a fantastic Brooks Brothers pajama set. So after the party I can bumble home, throw on the pajama top, shove the boy over and be done with it.

As I put them on I wondered if I was brave enough to do it. Then I thought about my upcoming quarter century birthday and I thought, 'now is the time to experiment with stupid trends. If I don't wear these, what will I regret wearing later?'

Because I think a crucial part of getting older is looking at pictures of yourself when you were younger and thinking "I'm so glad I obsessively wore sunscreen. And so sad that I wore that while doing so."

It's all about the accessories here. Heels are crucial.

Besides, this trend is so oddly glamorous. It takes a real woman not to wear real pants. Like Auntie Mame or Alexis from Dynasty or Norma Desmond. By the way, after 4-6 glasses of champagne, I do a spot on Swanson impression if you needed any impetus to buy me a drink.

Eat it, Lalique

P.S.  For you. And me. Mostly me.


*that said, I want to make one thing abundantly clear: leggings aren't pants. Not gym pants, not pants pants, not pants under a long shirt. They just aren't pants.

Style Inspiration: Salt N' Pepa

It's totally not on trend or chic right now, but for some reason late last night I was overcome with the desire to push it real good. 

Chalk it up to overexposure to the 50s/20s/70s worship that seems to be on constant rotation during every fashion week, but something in me is calling for 80s excess and cheeseball-ery. That's a word now.

Furthermore, when did matching outfits become embarrassing? Because I know I certainly am embarrassed of the matching outfits my cousin and I used to wear, but part of me wishes that it was still socially acceptable.

Image courtesy of Style.com

The rest of me totally understands why it isn't though, so don't worry.

Image Courtesy of Style.com

Also, when it comes down to it, I really hate 80s style trainers that designers have come out with recently. So maybe it isn't my personal style but I guess I just like people who take fashion risks. And catchy 80s pop.  Even if I just can't with these damn sneakers. Who wants to spend $300 on these?

Jil Sander Sneakers