I AM Auntie Mame....

 Big Freaking News: The Boy's sister and her husband are expecting a child. And, since this is my blog,  which means everything is about me, that means that I can now expect to be an aunt! An aunt! Aunts are important! I've loved all of my aunts! I'm so excited I could pee*.

When discussing possible monikers, I wasn't satisfied with the typical Aunt/Auntie Sarah options. There was something lacking. Then I remembered what I've been periodically bellowing at The Boy for the past few weeks:


I. am. Auntie. Mame. 

If you have not witnessed the cinematic brilliance that is Auntie Mame, stop reading this and go watch it now. I'll wait.  It's on Netflix Watch Instantly so it will be easy-peasy-don't-be-sleazy.

It may be subtle as a blow to the head and 45 minutes too long but it is also the singularly most influential film on my life and style since Roman Holiday. It was made in the 50s about the 20s, so there's bright colors, loud patterns and headwear up the wazoo. To prepare for the child-to-be**, I've put together a small list of what it takes to be Auntie Mame.
Note: I have not been sponsored by any of the following companies, nor do I own any of the following items. In other words, if you want to buy them for me, I'll be your best friend forever because I fucking love presents.

Loud Pants

Inspiration

Actualization

Pants via Zara 79.90

Pants via Zara 79.90

Inspiration

Actualization

Pants via Zara 59.90

Pants via Anna Kaci 26.90

Luckily, Mame-appropriate legwear is experiencing a resurgance in the fashion world. Pajama sets, sequin pants, patterned pants, and matchy-matchy suits are all the rage. Example A: this H&M window.  

Go forth and lose all sense of subtlety. 

Fantastic Hats

Inspiration

Actualization

Hat via EBay 28.00

Hat via Modcloth 29.99

   

Inspiration

Actualization

Hat via Modcloth 34.99

Hat via ArtFire 31.90

Every year, I (and several other magazines) declare hats to be the newest It accessory, as though it's breaking news that hats are amazing. So, I'm just going to adapt a pro-hats stance year round.

A Cigarette Holder

 Inspiration
Every other minute of Auntie Mame. Have you watched it yet?

Actualization

Item via EBay

Item via RubyLane 75.00

I don't smoke, but I do hold a fake cigarette to go with my bourbon or coffee whenever I write and now I think it may have to go in a chic as fuck holder. Also excellent for gesticulating. 

All fashion related ramblings aside, though, I am so happy for the expecting parents. They are rock stars, and their kid is so lucky he chose them. They also come with a crazy big tribe of endless support and love, including this pleased as punch aunt. Now someone get me a damn glass of punch. 

*And I've only had to breathe into a paper bag once. Because, you know, aunts are important. And I'm a little afraid of babies. It's the soft spot.
**Who, in honor of another idol of mine, will be known forthwith as Schlomo. 

Spring RTW Trends

So, fashion week is over and the world is forever changed. Oh, wait. Of course it's not. MBFW left a bevvy of sore footed, underfed and overtired girls but for once I wasn't one of them! I didn't go a single show, party or event this year and it didn't make much of a difference for anyone.

But this post isn't about the low-level hum of fashionable existential crisis that buzzes in the back of my brain this time of year. So, without further ado, here are my thoughts on the trends of this season.

Of course there were the perennial spring trends: pastels, flapper influences....florals. For spring. Groundbreaking*. There were also some trends that returned from last season, indicating the staying power of monochromatic outfits, white dresses and Greek goddess-esque maxi dresses.

But here's a recap of the other, more unusual trends that I noticed.

Stripes

I love those shoes.

Stripes are, in some ways, classic: they add an instant elegant nautical vibe to an outfit. But this year I noticed stripes worn with other patterns or different stripes creating a kind of...drunken nautical vibe that I really liked.

Image courtesy of The Sartorialist

How to wear it: carefully. Avoid wearing different stripes in similiar colors. If you're wearing multiple patterns, only one should be bright, shiny or loud in any way.

Midriff Baring Tops and Dresses

All runway images courtesy of Style.com

Lots of crop tops, bandeau tops and dresses with cut-outs in the midriff areas this year.


How to wear it: please don't. Thanks.


Ladylike Skirts....with Leather

I love the mid-length skirt trend, and my favorites are vintage silhouettes like pencil skirts or flared 50s style. Those were all over the runway, and I loved when they were modernized with leather trim or paired with a leather top.

Image courtesy of The Sartorialist

How to wear it: try colored leather if you're shy about looking like a dominatrix and let it steal the show.

Hats

Because all of these outfits are really lacking drama....

Hats are my perrennial trend. Every year, I look for every collection that features any headwear and announce that hats are 'back' in a lifelong attempt to get more people to wear them. They just add an element of drama to any outfit.

Image courtesy of the Facehunter

How to wear it: on your head, jackass.

Fringe

Fringe is one of those things that can add drama and instant je-ne-sais-quoi status or can be the trashiest thing since me. But it always makes you want to move, and I loved what No. 21 and Gucci in particular.

Image courtesy of Dre De Carlo

How to wear it: the one time I really hate fringe is when it's leather or suede. Unless you're going to a rodeo, don't dress like a bullrider. It's mostly an evening look, but I like the idea of a fringed dress with boots and a leather jacket.

Tits

I mean, not big ones. But bigger**.  And, yes, there were still a few of these:

Isn't she...precious.

That ain't right.

But I saw a lot of girls that would have been required to lose weight in years past and it cheered the hell out of me. Maybe it's the Lara Stone's effect, maybe it's the fact that Elizabeth Taylor was cited by designer after designer as an influence, or maybe the pressure from the media and the advocate's groups is finally working. Either way,  it's good news. Especially for me because I have big old knockers.

How to wear it: not on your head.



*Is it wrong that when I see that movie, it makes me want to be more like Miranda?
** I recently devised a new classification system for breasts:
Whatters: totally flat breasts that I don't know what to do with. 
Plinkers- itty bitty titties that you just want to flick with your finger.
Cuppers: small but curvy breasts you just want to cup a little, a la Diana Ross with Lil' Kim.
Handfuls: enough said.
Whatnowers: my friend has these, and she would rather call them 'Oh, I'm Sorry's but she's had men come up to her and tell her they'd like their girlfriends' implants to look like her natural whatnowers so I'm sticking by my original title.

In retrospect, it's more of a tap.

In No Particular Order

All in all, the shows this year have had a very 70s feel, with a touch of naughty secretary, which I think is just great. Here's a quick compilation of my favorite trends.

1) Flowy Skirts

Clockwise from top left: Victoria Beckham, Derek Lam, Marc by Marc Jacobs

The mini skirt has dominated the runways for some time, but this season the hemlines were noticably longer and looser. Flowy material like silk featured heavily, as did pleats. I love this trend for spring- very romantic but fun.

2) Little White Dress

Clockwise from top left: Max Azria, Herve Leger, Cushnie et Ochs

I will never give up my love of little black dresses but, according to Vogue UK, this is the year of the LWD, the little white dress. That does not bode well for chronic coffee drinkers and spillers like me, but I love how they look so if you can wear white without looking like a Jackson Pollock by the end of the day, more power to you.

3) Jewel Tones

Clockwise from left: Cushnie et Ochs, Jill Stuart, Diane Von Furstenburg

I love all the color I've been seeing. Vibrant blues, magentas, reds and oranges just make everything more interesting. I especially love the idea of pairing all this with camel or black for work.

4) Even Wider Leg Pants

Clockwise from top left: Derek Lam

Of course wide leg pants have been in style for a while but they got even more dramatic this year. Wider, bigger and more luxurious: silk, velvet and leather featured prominently. This trend can be a little dramatic for every day, but paired with a conservative blazer or a white T-shirt it can definitely be pulled off.

5) Interesting Knits

Clockwise from left: Max Azria, Victoria Beckham,  Behnaz Serafpour

6) Fur (faux, of course)

Clockwise from top left: Lela Rose, aka the Love of My Life (seriously, how much do you LOVE that coat?!), Cushnie et Ochs, Jil Stuart, Marc Jacobs

My fur policy has been, until recently, somewhat lenient. Nothing real, except for vintage. But I realize that this is a line that could easily blur as time goes on, so I'm sticking to the motto proudly blazoned on a magnet on my mom's fridge: "Real boobs, fake fur" from here on out. And I love the idea of bringing fake fur into play in interesting and unexpected ways: mittens, like at Marc Jacobs or accenting shoulders. There is definitely DIY potential here.

7) Hats

Clockwise from left: Marc by Marc Jacons, Diane Von Furstenburg, DKNY

It should come as no surprise that I was elated to see vintage style hats on many a runway this season. Mostly 70s styles, but a few hearkened back even a little further to the 50s, when the hat matched the gloves matched the bags. While I personally may not love the matchy-matchy look, I do appreciate the idea of really taking care with dressing.

8) Polka Dots

Clockwise from left: Marc Jacobs, Diane Von Furstenburg, Jil Stuart

My very favorite trend of all. What more can I say?

Later: how to wear these trends without spending a billion dollars. Preview: it involves pajama pants, because I love any excuse to wear them in public.

*Figures not exact.

A few things

Image courtesy of dooce.com and I am very jealous of her.

Spent the last two days shooting a commercial and am totally exhausted. Shooting all day, in class all evening and catching up on emails all night have left me so ready for the weekend. Even better would be a weekend in Miami, but my bed will have to suffice as a warm oasis for now. 

Thought I'd post a few pics from the last few days, just to show what I've been up to. 

View from the tour bus

Like I said, I shot a commercial that involved a) running up and down stairs for hours and hours, b) working with ridiculously attractive people and c) hanging out on a tour bus for a day and taking in the sights of NYC. It was pretty awesome. But I missed seeing this stupid little face.

Also have had loads of castings that have brought me all over the city (not, unfortunately, on a tour bus) and I was able to walk up and down 5th Ave. early one morning. Fifth Ave and the Champs Elysees are currently tied for first place in the Window Shopping Competition of my life.

Marc Jacobs Clutch at Bergdorf's

There is also something about the people coming out of their luxurious apartments and casually flagging a cab or getting into chaffeured cars that is, to me, like a carefully choreographed dance. Slim arms in cashmere coats fly into the air, and cabs slide into place. Expensive men's shoes step gracefully off the curb and step into a car. But my real favorites are the wacky old ladies in elaborate hats tipping their heads to the door men and meandering into the street. Someday that will be me.

Hats. I love them.

So, that's been my week. I like to think my weekend will involve lots of sleep but I have a hell of a lot to do.

An excellent midnight

12:00pm, midnight: end of week-long detox diet
12:01pm: welcome toxins! The most delicious glass of champagne I have ever tasted.

I am very grateful to The Boy, who not only poured the champagne but was sweet to me all week, as I was sorely lacking in dairy, gluten, caffeine and manners.

I found this video earlier in the week, and the hats have been haunting me ever since. I just want one.



I think I love them.

Listening to now: My Fair Lady Soundtrack

Reading now: This Side of Paradise, after abandoning it for months at the tail end of a summer long Fitzgerald binge. What a strange story this is.