Happy Belated Halloween!

Happy Halloween!

Hope you all had a fabulous Halloween! The snowstorm forced The Boy and I to cancel our trip home to MA which would have been unfortunate if it hadn't also stranded some other Mass-bound friends at our house. Their loss was our gain and we hunkered down with apple cider donuts, beer and plenty takeout menus.

We had a much better time than she did.

We ate, we played games, we giggled over costumes and we watched the snow come down with eager little faces.

Ok, so maybe not eager, but pretty awesome, no? We were the Tennenbaums and if you haven't seen that movie, go do so now. No, seriously, now. Go. I'll wait.

 

We had a blast and now I have a faux fur coat that I can put on and feel instantly awesome. In fact, I may just slowly but permanently transform into Margot Tenenbaum. I tried to dress Rue up as Mordecai but he wasn't having it. 

P.S. Weekly Zumba update: someone spiked the Old Lady punch. The Ancients were feeling sassy as anything and I just loved it.

I might watch these in Death Sweatpants...

Listed below are my initial reactions to the ads for the following TV shows, followed by more cohesive thoughts I had after watching as much of the show as I could stand.

I should be on this show.

At first I was a little bit freaked out by Kat Denning's cynicism and lack of pluck but I've come to really love it. TV is frequently so full of pluck I want to puke*. Even Meredith and Christina on Grey's Anatomy, who are supposed to be these dark twisty characters are, let's face it, kind of plucky.

Yeah, it's the tails that were really throwing me off here.

I just...can't. Literally can not. Pretty sure that if I even start to talk about this show a deluge of feminist rage and angst will pour out of me and never. fucking. stop. Like, I'll be trying to order coffee and only be able to spout Lacan and Mulvey and then I won't be able to have coffee or food and I'll starve to death and it will be ALL YOUR FAULT, NBC. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?!

Maya Rudolph is better than anything.

This show is hilarious,  has a working mom and a stay at home dad, which quiets my inner feminist and, most importantly, everyone on it is brilliant and awesome and should be my best friend.

100% of your life would end if I strangled you with sweatpants. Now we all have fun statistics.

Full disclosure: I couldn't bring myself to watch any of this show. And now I can no longer look at my one pair of sweatpants without seeing them as a murder weapon. WILL THE MADNESS NEVER STOP, NBC? STOP MAKING ME SO CAPS LOCK-Y.

*pluck. puke. prick. Alliteration is fun.

What the What Continued

Wherein the Author Treats a Cake Like a Lady

A little more about this cake

from this bakery.

As my lovely companion and I made our way to the bakery after a long morning of trapezing, I had plans for that piece of cake. Deep, dark and slightly disgusting plans. I was planning on eating that cake in a way that would make aforementioned lovely companion embarrassed to be near me.

In short, I was going to facefuck that cake.

But one bite in and I knew: this was no one night stand of a snack. This was true love. I wanted to make that cake an honest woman.

Invitations to the wedding will be going out soon.

Bathing Beauties

When my beach plans were rained out this weekend, I resorted to a hot bath and a good book and, quite frankly, if I had my way, I'd be in there still.

Maybe not that particular book.

There's something about baths that is innocent, despite the sensuality (and, you know, nekkidness).

It's luxurious but universal.  Babies and seniors and even queens do it.

I think this might be my very favorite picture in the whole world

Of all the little luxuries, it would be the last to go for me.

Deep Thoughts

Because I am really deep. So: hair. It's on our heads. And I've been thinking about it a lot lately. Mainly because several people have suggested that I, "like, never, ever cut my hair," which, obviously, really makes me want to cut my hair. Here are some of my shorter lengthed inspirations:

I just love that wavy bob because it says to me, "you wouldn't have to learn how to use a hair straightener, Sarah." I really like that in a coif. But then I think back to the shoot in Germany where they gave me huge, bouncy, 80s style curls and I fucking loved it. Yes, brushing it out was a bitch and I didn't exactly fit through every doorway, but still. I felt like a badass.

I also sometimes felt like a muppet.

So, here's some inspiration for that Pre-Raphaelite style wild hair.

And then I think about summer and I think about long, flowy mermaid hair which is so awesome until you actually get to the beach when it gets tangled and in your face but still...looks awesome.

 

So those are my super deep thoughts about hair. Give me a break, it's before 10 on a Saturday and I've been awake for 2 hours with no coffee.

You're Gonna Be An Old Woman Someday...

"You're gonna be an old woman someday... don't worry about it."


Advanced Style: Age and Beauty on Nowness.com.

I love this video. Happy Tuesday.

Wish List, sort of.

My mom asked me what I wanted for Christmas today and I realized that I have no idea. Normally I have a mile-long wishlist, but somewhere between deciding to make all my presents this year and actually making them (I am not a crafty person...) I forgot that I would get something too. Now that I've taken a minute to think about it...I still have no idea.

Here are a few things I can't get enough of, though.

1) Books
I know, I know. I said books weren't the best gifts, but I didn't mean it. Books from people I respect with intellects I aspire to are the best gifts in the world.



2) Vintage clothes
Speaking of Pushing Daisies, specifically anything Chuck wears. I'm (re)watching it now with The Boy and, sometime around the 8th episode, he pointed out that every single time we watch it I say, "Ooh! I love that dress/hat/skirt/whatever".

3) Champagne
Prosecco, sparkling wine, whatever. Of course champagne proper is preferable, but I'm easy.

Image Courtesy of This is Glamourous

4) Luggage
And travel gear. I have loads of it, but much of that is being employed to hold, say, scarves, or books. And there's always room for more, and there's really nothing like a good, leather duffel to make your trip easier.



5) Recipes
I love cooking, and it's the only domestic thing I'm any damn good at (see top re: crafting).

Images Courtesy of This is Glamourous

So, those are a few things that will never fail to please me. What are some things you can never get enough of, Christmas after Christmas?

In No Particular Order

The music that is currently rocking my socks off:

1) Kanye West, My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy
Buy it, buy it now. It's gotten the highest possible rating from Rolling Stone, Pitchfork and anyone else with any sense. It's as good as they say, and how often is that the case?

2) Florence & The Machine, Lungs
I know I'm about 6 years behind the times on this one, but her voice is killer, the instrumentation is haunting and it has great running music on it.

3) Peggy Lee, Greatest Hits
If you have a low voice, like singing in the shower and feeling like a badass, this is for you.

4) Janella Monae, Archandroid
Also great running music, and she is a pint-sized bottle of awesome.

5) The Jackson 5 Christmas Album
Shut the hell up. It's awesome.

Merry Christmas, Zombies

Sooo... I have an obsession that I've kept seperate from this blog, because it's weird and a little gross. It also brings out a side of me that, I'm told, is less than pleasant. I can't remember when it started, but a long, long time ago I became...obsessed with zombies. Too obsessed to even be embarrassed. I have a plan, a compound, and a list of people who can come.

At any rate, if you don't watch the Walking Dead, you should probably skip this post. Sorry. If you're not obsessed with zombies, you should probably skip it too. Or get obsessed.

Things I Learned from Walking Dead

1) Binoculars are an essential part of every survival kit. Obviously, I know someone has to be on watch at all times, but I hadn't thought of binoculars.

2) Crossbow is a super, extra, awesome weapon that I should probably learn how to use right now. I thought I thought of every weapon: machete, shotgun, baseball bat, shovel, ax (although use caution, because they get stuck). But the crossbow is almost perfect: quiet but deadly. If they make ones that reload automatically I'm so sold.

3) Horses are good, if only because zombies will eat them instead of you if you play your cards right*. I am very pro-car in apocolyptic situations, but I am now open-minded to horses.

4) The tiny nerdy/geeky** ones are worthwhile. Obviously, tech skills and quick minds are important skills to have, but before watching Walking Dead I'm not sure I'd let this guy on the compound.

Image courtesy of AMC.com

5) Personalities matter. Despite my belief that the zombie apocolypse is a feasible event, I'm pretty optimistic. I figured that if someone had useful life skills, any personality quirks would be dealt with or eradicated. New rule: no racists, homophobes, sociopaths or people who really, really annoy me. That's a good rule for life, actually.

Things I Would Teach (the characters)
of Walking Dead

1) Unless you actually see the body, do not assume your spouse is dead. Therefore, do not have sex with someone else. And if they are dead, try and wait at least a month before having sex with his best friend. That's another good rule for life.

2) Don't be squeamish about shooting kids. Zombies are zombies are smaller, faster zombies. Nip that shit in the bud.

3) Tin cans are good alarms in a pinch. Razor wire with bells over a ditch are better. Do the work, reap the rewards. Also, dogs are good too.

4) STAY AWAY FROM CITIES. If you are surviving in the styx, stay there. If you're in the city, leave.

5) When you're surrounded by flesh eating zombies in a ransacked city, for the love of God, take shit. It's not looting, you weiners, it's taking shit that you need or even want.

*I love horses. I would never advocate eating a horse unless the only other option was being eaten myself.
**I know there is a difference between these words that is all-important and it's super insulting to confuse a nerd with a geek. Whatever.

In No Particular Order

A list of women that helped shape and influence me.

1) Patti Smith*

Her book, her songs, her cover of Smells Like Teen Spirit, her self.

2) Carol Burnett

She is the reason I am the way I am. She is the funniest woman on the planet.

3) Tina Fey

Because she is awesome. To see her being awesome, click here.

4) Marilyn Monroe

Recently I've shied away from her because of the sad girls of my generation following in her unsteady footsteps. But she was more than a tragic figure: she was funny, curvy and a brilliant actress.

5) Marlene Dietrich

She was a grandmother when this was taken.
Androgynous sexpot extraordinaire. World's sexiest grandmother.

7) Amelia Earhart

I got an antique piece of luggage from the Amelia Earhart collection, which led to a lengthy Wikipedia binge. The suitcase may need to go through several voodoo anti-jinxing rituals before I'll bring it on a plane, but I'm awfully glad I got to learn so much about this extraordinary woman.

8) Rosa Parks

Did you know she wasn't just pivotal in the Civil Rights movement but also in bringing rapists to justice? Check it out.

9) Holly Golightly

Diamonds, aging, friends. This character inspired the hell out of me from the screen and the page.

10) Eugenie Clark, the Shark Lady

She helped me remember that smart girls are cool in the face of bullies.


Thank you.

*Did I already say that? I'm getting blogger's deja vu.